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Editorial cartoon of a factory conveyor belt producing packaged teenage soccer phenoms labeled with cable news chyrons, as a media executive stamps each one PHENOM while a dusty warehouse shelf of previous identical packages stretches to the horizon behind him.

Sports

CNN Crowns Another 17-Year-Old the Future of American Soccer - Again

CNN has anointed Adri Mehmeti, 17, as the future of American soccer - a title previously held by a long conveyor belt of 17-year-olds whose futures arrived quietly and then kept right on going.

Satire & commentary · 2026-10-22