HOW DRU CATCH SEES IT

Streamlined to Perfection

There is a special kind of efficiency in government - the kind where the person who designs the process, oversees it, and simplifies it also happens to be first in line when the money window opens. According to Florida's attorney general, Mayor Jackie Espinosa of Kissimmee achieved that rare trifecta: she allegedly helped create a COVID small-business relief program, streamlined its application process, and then - on the very first day applications opened - her dance studio, diner, and real estate company reportedly got their forms in. That is not government serving the people. That is government doing its homework the night before and then sitting in its own front row.

Insider Trading - But Make It Local

The irony piles up fast. Florida CFO Blaise Ingoglia called the scheme 'the local government equivalent of insider congressional stock trading' - a comparison so accurate it practically wrote this article. Because insider congressional stock trading is, of course, a practice many members of Congress still enjoy in some form, despite a law passed in 2012 that was meant to limit it. So the intended insult here is also an inadvertent acknowledgment that self-dealing insiders get to define what counts as acceptable self-dealing. The standard is only a scandal when it happens at the wrong level of government.

Now the City Investigates the City

The deepest layer of absurdity is this: Espinosa legally remains mayor of Kissimmee. The city confirmed that an arrested mayor keeps her seat unless suspended, removed, or resigned. So the city manager has now launched an internal investigation into the Business Boost 2.0 program - the same program that, per the AG, the mayor allegedly shaped specifically to make it easier for her family to receive funds - using city staff the mayor allegedly relied on to run it. The city is, in essence, investigating itself, for a crime allegedly committed by the person who still technically leads it. If the Business Boost 2.0 program needs a self-audit, at least it came by the impulse honestly.